Rest and Community: Summer Break
Although I love summer, I am reminded that I thrive with a schedule. I crave rhythms and seem to function better in life with them. One of my favorite things in the summer is watching my kids hit the point where they CAN NOT WAIT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! It seems to come at the end of July. They are restless with the predictable everyday schedule-less summer. Toys, Videogames, the pool… all become boring. Our family is boring. The activities they did at the beginning of summer are no longer enticing but instead… you guessed it… BORING! They become excited to start something new. They are ready to be challenged again. They are wanting to work at something and learn more.
Although, “BORING” is still a month away, I want to be mindful that this reality will soon be here. Summer is our family’s opportunity to rest together. The extended daylight provides hours and hours of possibility. Hours and hours of exploration. Hours and hours of togetherness. And I do not want to miss it and I do not want them to miss it. However, my big question is how we do this well and honor one another.
I have been learning a lot recently, one learning is that a conversation can bring clarity. It is easy for me to not want to enter a conversation. I am usually convinced that I know people well enough to know what they want. For whatever reason this is my go-to response with my family. I often assume I know exactly what they want and need. I mean I birthed two of them and have been married to one of them for most of my adult life. I am practically them and they are practically me, right ;) Sometimes I nail my assumptions and I celebrate that I know my family well. Other times I fail and quickly realize that yes, last week they did want to do that fun activity, but this week they are tired from all the fun of last week and need down time.
As a family we are learning to ask the question to encourage conversation so that we can learn. So, for our family this means we need to be available to sit down together. We need to ask… “What is one thing you want to do this summer?” “What is one thing you need this summer from mommy and daddy? “And “What is one way we can love you more?” In an ideal world we would do this each week because these answers could change each week but, we hope to ask these questions with each new season; my goal is that we begin to ask these questions each month. When our family is available to have this conversation, we begin to see each other differently. We get to see how we are wired differently, and we get to hear how we can fill one another’s love tank. I absolutely love and appreciate each person within my family. God blessed me with three funny, creative, fun people. Our listening to one another communicates love and it communicates value. Our listening allows each member of our family to know that they are valuable. And our willingness to communicate needs can create change within our family system.
Truth… rest within community can be hard but learning rest together can be so rewarding! Communicating and listening to the needs of the community can feel sacrificial but can lead to greater love. Following through with what we hear can be difficult, but it can also bring hope for the new things we may discover along the way.
May we be a people that learn how to rest together because we are all better together.
